alex is born,
alex is put under microscope.
alex is not treated as a "lab rat":
alex is the main character.
alex is turning...
"alex is a loser"
alex is going...
"alex is a geek"
alex is moving...
"alex is fucking stupid"
alex is not only deprived of the capacity to choose to commit,
alex is determined not to kick up a fuss...
alex is the main character,
alex is a character who,
by every logical and rational consideration,
should be
completely
unsympathetic.
as I get itchy, I notice things about me
the good girl buries
deep.
ly.
I have a quiet tendency
towards
the
perverse.
I want knowing, prying eyes.
That distant, scorpion smile.
I want bleeding on the inside,
and ripping through to see.
I want secrets in my socks
pulled and pretty to my knees.
I want to be excused
from my hypocrisy
and exercise the halves
locked smart inside of me
while I fit smartly in these shoes.
(itchy though they be.)
as I get itchy, I notice things
the good girl buries
but still can see
so
clearly...
I don't really use this any more but I don't want to sit here and delete all the old journal entries. So this one is just going to sit here like a big duck. :)